in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
