On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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