Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
