I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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