You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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