In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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