:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
