no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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