96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
