I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
