I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
