Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
The best revenge is premature balding
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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