Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination

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(614): Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination http://tfl.nu/cegt

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.

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(973): Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie. http://tfl.nu/rlm3

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long

(1-414): View more from Wisconsin

aren't you going with children?

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(414): can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long (1-414): aren't you going with children? http://tfl.nu/9f28

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(269): View more from Michigan

I don't know where I am but there are firefighters

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(269): I don't know where I am but there are firefighters http://tfl.nu/dbyd

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(317): View more from Indiana

eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.

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(317): eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped. http://tfl.nu/504u

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(214): View more from Texas

new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.

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(214): new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5. http://tfl.nu/1dnu

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(303): View more from Colorado

That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth

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(303): That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth http://tfl.nu/ml2x

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(360): View more from Washington

It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.

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(360): It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice. http://tfl.nu/ciw3

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(248): View more from Michigan

Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?

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(248): Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling? http://tfl.nu/8zdi

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(607): View more from New York

Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.

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(607): Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night. http://tfl.nu/v41h

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night

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(412): I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night http://tfl.nu/c70m

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..

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(605): I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us.. http://tfl.nu/2996

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(360): View more from Washington

We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.

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(360): We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat. http://tfl.nu/nbay

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(585): View more from New York

Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?

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(585): Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today? http://tfl.nu/z6wh

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(940): View more from Texas

Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.

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(940): Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night. http://tfl.nu/76za

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