..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.