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Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
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