This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
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Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
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I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.