i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
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remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
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Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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