My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
