She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
