And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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