me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
