I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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