even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
