she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
