the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.