Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
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how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
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I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?