you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
