Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.

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(503): View more from Oregon

well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.

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(319): View more from Iowa

The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue

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(630): View more from Illinois

it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(614): View more from Ohio

how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.

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(712): View more from Iowa

Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.

(714): View more from California

Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."

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(727): View more from Florida

Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.

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(512): View more from Texas

I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.

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(347): View more from New York

Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?

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