oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
