so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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