laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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