He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize