Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
he's gonorrhea incarnate
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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