this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
