how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
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Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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