I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
