i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
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I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
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YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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