Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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