K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
there was a trapeze. enough said
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
