I think i sorta joined a cult last night
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
