why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
