I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
