We're facebook friends in real life
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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