I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?