he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.