There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old