just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
