can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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