Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Is it because I queefed?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
