Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
