Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
