Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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