Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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