If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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