Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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