I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
