Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
