Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I understand Curling. That high.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize