New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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