actually, I'm a sock model
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize