And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
