And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
