what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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