let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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