Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize